April 12, 2002

• Yesireee, only into his fourth day, and Zane's amazing procrastination skills come to the surface. No entry for yesterday; so this will also be an attempt to inflict some discipline on myself as well...without the rashes or abrasions one normally associates with such things, of course.

  
  

  I realize that genital piercing is, at some level, an attempt at self-expression or even a stab at individuality of a kind. Now myself personally...I don't see metal threaded through the tender fleshy parts of one's body as being anything but some kind of answer to a twisted, alcohol-induced dare. But that's just me.

  
  

  Zane's tips on being original:

  
  

  
  
  1. Superglue a turkey feather to your forehead.
  
  
  2. Seal your last two fingers together with silicone caulking.
  
  
  3. Fashion a bicycle from used prosthetics and dental work.
  
  
  4. Pick a random day to answer every question asked of you with a blast from a portable airhorn..and nothing more.
  
  
  5. Glue several Hot Wheels ® cars to the bottom of a skateboard and demand to be serviced at the drive thru.
  
  
  6. Accessorize your wardrobe with Tupperware® every Wednsday.
  
  
  7. Hang a personallized license plate from the ear of your choice.
  
  
  8. Just before leaving work, warn your boss that you may have to stay home because you're feeling ill...then show up anyhow and bring donuts.
  
  
  9. Compose your weblog while nekkid.
  
  
  10. Open your front window and dance to 'Walking on Sunshine' while banging on a pot with a wooden spoon.

  
  

  Pretty soon, everyone you know will not be able to think of a SINGLE person that is like you...and you won't have to get anything pierced.

  • 2:59 pm
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