April 24, 2002

  • Ah yes. Today, a word about customer service and things technical. Those of you who call customer support and do this, you know who you are. What I’m about to rant on does not apply to everyone.




    1. You called ME; don’t get this better than thou attitude just because you bought something. Big deal, I just bought a Snickers and you don’t see a new wing being added to the MM Mars building under MY name do ya? No.
       


    2. No, turbo-geek…I, in fact, do NOT care how many certifications you hold. I care how many acronyms are in your email tagline about as much as I care what Barry Manilow eats on his Grape Nuts…and trust me, you’d need a time machine for that one ¹. I know what I’m doing, you…do not. The quicker we get past this, the quicker I can solve your problem, capiche?


    3. I am SO tired of trying to convince people that I’m right before they’ll even CHECK my solution. Don’t they get that if someone is paying me really good money to do this that I might…just might…know what the hell I’m doing? That your problems are just a droplet in an ocean of problems I deal with every day What do they have to loose in the first place anyhow, it’ll STILL be broken if I’m wrong, not MORE broken, right?


    4. How stupid is it to lie to someone you are trying to get to diagnose a problem. I mean, if you went to the doctor because of chest pains, would you complain that your instep was sweating more than usual, your tongue itched, and your ears were getting hot flashes but leave out that you had a stabbing pain in your chest and passed out this afternoon while raking the yard?


    5. Just because you were the only one in the mailroom to know how to format a floppy disk, don’t cop ‘tude with me please. They may refer to you as the Network Administrator, but we both know the truth. Luckily, if you work with me, we’re the only ones who will.

    Well, there are many more, but I don't want to just go on...besides, I feel much better now


     


    ¹ In some cases, I would need a working time machine in order to travel far enough ahead in time to find technology advanced enough to make a device sensitive enough to measure how little I care.

Comments (4)

  • so you're having a bad day?

  • I feel for ya, man, but there's nothing quite so embarrassing as calling tech support, waiting on hold for a half hour, having the tech support guy tell you to do exactly what you tried just before calling, and having it work. I hate that!

    What magic powers do you people wield? What do you do during that time on hold? Reveal your secrets!

  • Marzy:
    Hehe, nah; my peronality is more of a scolding one than a vengeful or punishing one. I just have to deal with people all day who have already decided what's wrong and how to fix it, they just need me to sign off on it...which I won't without doing my job. They, on the other hand, can't be bothered with this; until I fix the problem with a few settings changes, then they usually end up getting angry at Mircosoft, which they should be, trust me.

    Homey My Homey:
    Yeah, but there really isn't anything I can do about it; I wish there was. When I arrive onsite, and open the toolbag and stuff starts working, what can I do? Machines not only respond to fear and frustration; intimidation and fear of being torn apart to individual components and soldered back together works as well. That and we sacrifice very large Rice Krispie squares and cup after cup of Kenya AA to Formaticus, the Greek God CPU Cycle Time.

    Seriously though, working with computers, because they CAN be so complex, often more closely resembles a Catholic Exorcism Rite. Very specific steps, taken in order...a reboot at the right time BEFORE a certain action is taken, settings are read off, tweaked if needed, a final reboot and viola! As for the being on hold for half an hour...brutha I totally sympathize and there ain't nuthin' we can do about that; as a matter of fact, we hate the phone tree JUST AS MUCH, if not more, than you do. One reason is, by the time you get to us, you've already heard enough MuZak to make you up your dosage of Haldol; and that don't make OUR job any easier, let me tell ya.

  • Question number one, ALWAYS:
    is it hooked up to a power source?

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