It's 2am...I'm still studying, and I'm wishing genital warts and a raging bladder infection on Bill Gates...no, scratch that.  I want him sealed in a 30ft metal tank connected to an electric paint mixer filled with 300 lbs. of cherry-red charcoal briquettes, hungry roaches, rusty tacks, angry bees, and Rush Limbaugh. And *I* get to set it on 'Frape'.

Well, Network Infrastructure is in the am, and my brain is smouldering right now; partly because Microsoft has to rename everything Unix related just so it can be referred to in 'MS' terms. And the other part of it is that my give a shit meter is way past E tonight. I suppose if I could just study to pass it would be easier on me, but my work ethic tends to get in the way of that because I really want to know this stuff. There is one thing you must always remember when taking a MicroSoft certification test.

Rule #1:
The problem is your hardware.
Rule #2:
If the hardware is good, it must be a user setting.
Rule #3
If it's a user setting, have your credit card handy. If it's not, see Rule #1.

Night all!

Well, it's time for my nap, apparently. Night all!

Well the server test was just pass/fail, but I passed. Out of 1000 points (if it had been scored that way) this one felt like about an 860. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have 6 reactions during a test that has mulitple choice answers in it:

1. The answer's this one...next victim.


2. I saw this in the study material.


3. This is the only one that makes sense...must be it.


4. Well the other two answers are bullshit, so it's one of these two...


5. Hmmm, I'll have to come back to this one. If I'm lucky, the other questions might clue me in.


6. What the....!!! Glue-sniffing bastards! What does THAT have to do with networking?!

So, exam two is in the bag and it's pucker time...Networking Infrastructure. Ack!

"It's in the hole! It's in the hole..." -Bill, Caddyshack, nuff said.

HA! 940 out of 1000...[Zane does victory dance with a clearly humiliated cat on each shoulder]

Ph33r ^^y 3l33t S/<1/_/_z!!!!

Well, to be honest, this is the first test out of 7 and can really only gauge my ability to answer written interrogation in Micro$oftese. Server and Network Infrastructure are next and will take me through to Monday. The N.I. exam is the one that will make you question all you really know about networking no matter how long you've been trying to convince your boss he doesn't need a dual Xeon hooked to a 500 gig raid array to answer his mail, and make your gibblies head north for the winter...even in June. (purely in a metaphorically paniced sense of course...I hope)

Come to think of it, in celebration of this event; if I pass I'm seriously thinking of getting ink done. (and no, I'm not getting a thirteen) The words 'Don't Panic!' in bold friendly letters on my right arm. I was going to do this in commemoration when D.N.A. became a footnote in the Guide, but now I'll have a combo reason. Well that and to convice myself that I was never just all talk about it .

"Well Bob, I'm off to crash the server. Wish me luck!"  -my fave CDW radio commerical

For those of you wondering what yer ole Uncle Zane is up to, it's called MCSE Bootcamp and it's the IT precursor to selling pencils in the airport. Microsoft tests are almost as infuriatingly vague as a crack dealer explaining his income to an IRS agent.

Dante could have replaced several levels with corresponding floors of a certain building in Redmond. Imagine a company giving you a test on something they are desperately trying to convince everyone doesn't suck.

Wish me luck, time for my study treatment. They should sell a dribble bib with this documentation...ya'll be good.

"Knowing the cheeta's preference for red meat, the spamalopes remained relaxed, but cautious." -Gary Larson