October 19, 2002
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Just recently I've had to deal with some pretty despicable behavior in the workplace and my personal life and I really have the need to vent. I don't think it's fair that I only seem to be venting in this log these days...but I promise to get over it soon. I don't really dwell on this stuff, but there ARE times when it helps to type things out. I'm sure some of you have felt this, otherwise I wouldn't subject you to it.
For those of you who only know me from what I write, I'm much easier on the psyche when I'm talking to people in person. I try to be kind and helpful, almost genetically tend toward reserved and understanding even though at times I don't want to be, and though I HATE the word, I've been called a 'nice' person more than once in my life. Those of you who read this actually see and interact with a side of me that is not obvious to many. A girlfriend of mine once told me it was because I just needed time to get comfortable with people before I began actually *telling* them what they were saying was a load of shit instead of just thinking it and nodding understandingly. Of course, you could also equate it with not picking your nose in front of company, or trying not to fart in church. I leave that to you.
However, many people that I interact with through my job make the mistake of equating kindness with weakness; being helpful with being easily manipulated; understanding with gullible. Then when the door slams shut on long, protracted discussions....sessions of understanding dialog suddenly take on the air of hopping blindfolded through a high school gym filled with sharp-toothed bear traps, they get offended, insulted, and wonder where the helpful old me went.
They burn up their currency with me by being treacherous, lying assholes patting themselves on the back for how well they've mastered the proverbial 'mind-fuck' in the work place, too wrapped up in keeping their Amazon Mud Slide of deceptions from sucking them under while preening their egos in the perceived reflections of the insecurities of others that they don't even notice I've dropped them in the grease until they're checking their laces and notice that smell is them. And then they get angry because they thought they could 'trust' me.
Yea, trust me let you use me as a step ladder....stop yer whining Skippy...just a few seconds ago you were bragging about how you could talk anyone into anything, how weak minded people were. Now you're all done save the Lowrey's salt and you're crying foul?
To quote Bugs: "Think fast, rabbit." Because you are now ON the menu.
I feel better now...thanks for reading this far.
Comments (4)
I don't think you're weak: I just want to sexually harass you, my sweaty love monkey.
You only love me for the Bugs Bunny quotes and my well documented, left-handed bra strap technique; I HAVE a mind you know!
I think I worked with those people. Let me guess. Tech industry? Most of those people are, pardon, social retards. Here's another of my favorites from my time there. I'm a calm person. I'm the daughter of an emergency room nurse for gawd's sake. We didn't do silly at my house. So when there's stress, or a crisis or just plain long hours and pain. I handle it better and more efficiently if I remain calm. I don't bitch. I don't whine. I do. Bitching, moaning and pissing sap my energy and increase mine and everyone else's anxiety. In the place I worked this was interpreted as "She must not be working as hard as me." "Why isn't she losing her hair?" And generally....Waaaaaaa. Personally I admire people who keep their cool. But apparently this is not universal. Good luck with them.
Good point; kind of like the people who are so competitive that they don't stop to think that, maybe, they can't do as much or handle as much as you can. Thanks for the input, and good luck to you as well
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