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  • So, I head out last Saturday with my dad to go find some dumb catfish; we're driving to Carmine, Texas to visit my cousin and do a shakedown of some of the local fishing holes he knows of. Near RoundTop, not far from Brenham and College Station (Gig'em Aggies!) this is VERY beautiful country...in places. In others it's nothing but dirt, stickers and snakes.


    The lakes we end up fishing are on private property, which for me is a pain in the ass because I feel like...I dunno...I'm horning in on somebody's fishin' hole. Does that sound strange? The first lake was bust, more of a cattle watering hole really, about half an acre lake, no real bank to fish from, and yours truely looses his rig in the local flora...a ratty-looking stick all by it's lonesome, looking at me like 'What did *I* do?'...embarassing really. Every once in a while, my casting kung fu leaves me for a second and I end up looking rather silly...same with my dart game, but that's another blog.


    We're baiting our hooks from the tailgate, and let me tell you something about catfish bait that those of you who *don't* work the water for catfish may not know...catfish bait is rank. I don't mean 'kinda' rank, or a little stinky. I mean hot roadkill buried under a rabbit hutch kind of rank...the kind that, well, makes you wonder if you should be eating something what you were catching with it...ya know? The joke of the morning went something like 'I don't blame them, I wouldn't eat this crap either!' We all end up in agreement that 'cattle blood' bait was for people who were either far more serious about catfishing than we were, or took a bath once a month whether they needed it or not and didn't seem to mind the smell. So we opted for some 'fresher' bait, frozen shrimp and chicken gizzards. I know it doesn't sound like much of a change, but trust me...it was the same difference you would find in comparing the smell of a freezer burned steak, and a sunburned jellyfish...nuff said!


    The second place we stopped at was on what must have been close to 2500 acres of ranch. Parts of it were nothing but mesquite sticker bushes and rocks, but every few hundred yards you'd run across a cattle tank, a pond, or a lake that would have greenery just spread out from it like the ripples on the water itself. Patches of land that had been worked hard over the years to keep back the brambles...rocks had been drug away, chains drug behind horses, then tractors and trucks to sweep the land clear of the harshness and make it into grazing land. This place was nice, and probably would have had a boatload of fish in it, but it was hard to get to. From a distance, the weeds looked harmess, but once you got up on them, they were shoulder high, razor sharp, and you could hear the wasps, bees, hornets, locusts, and other bugs just shouldering through the outer rim of them. Dad got bit by something, we think it was a spider. He just got it looked at today, but it had grown to the size of a saucer this morning. I lost my bait a few times, then finally got a bite that must have been somehing upward of 12 lbs. or so, but since I was fishing with a double hooked rig, I think it got caught on a log (or I had hooked a turtle) because I had to pull it loose and broke it. That was two.


    The last place we stopped, was...well it was as perfect a fishing spot as I've been to in quite a while. Grass all the way up to the bank, a surface with a light, shower door ripple to it. Lilly pads and cattails on one end, a deep drop off to about 15 feet on the other. As I'm watching my line, I notice this black shape next to the bank out of the corner of my eye. At first, it's just a group of bubbles, but as it grows closer, I see that it's a swirling mass of tiny, baby catfish. I find myself facinated by the way they scour the bank, just below the surface. Swirling clockwise (why clockwise I wonder?) like an organic scrubber just in the shallows of the shore, probing every nook for something to eat, stirring up a small maelstrom of bubbles in the process. I look up and my bobber is below the water, I catch my first (and only) fish of the day, he's a little one compared to the 7 pounder my cousin had caught in the land of hornets earlier, but a keeper nonetheless. Later, I found myself mezmerized by this place, this green mirror of life in what looked to be a carpet of weeds, dust and thorns. So much so that the next four fish get lunch for free...I never even notice until it's too late. Ah well...


    No matter where you go, there is an oasis. At times, it's obvious, others need to be found. But they always seem to be there. Perhaps it really isn't about getting what you want, but wanting what you've got. (Sheryl Crow plagerism not withstanding) Or at the very least, taking the time to appreciate that which you've been shown. For now.


    It was a good day...daydreaming induced sunburn and all.

  • So I'm sitting in my new office today, with only half my stuff moved into it and I'm looking over a few of the cases I have assigned to me...I look down at my hands, then over at the phone, then at a paperclip on the desk...and this feeling I haven't had since I was a kid washes over me. What IS all this? I mean, sure, that's a desk, that's a straightened out paperclip for ejecting stuck cd's, this is a keyboard...


    But those are just words.


    I begin to look around and think, what is all this?


    Am I looking out...or in?


    It's kept with me ever since work and I can't seem to shake it; is my steering the car just an illusion? I mean, is a fish swimming in a bowl just fooling itself...he's not going anywhere...not really.


    No. It doesn't feel like a bowl so much as the effort feels as if I'm steering a kayak downstream. I can avoid the rocks, stay upright, slow or speed up a bit; but I'm headed the direction the river is going, that's that.


    Consider leaving the river. As someone equipped for navigating the rapids and white water, what chance have I in the jungle with a boat on my shoulder and no machete'? It looks easy when watched from the rim of a whirlpool formed off of a jagged rock with angry foam wanting to devour you whole and the constant roar of water vibrating your soul...but is it?


    From this vantage point, there are no snakes, cougars, poisonous plants...and a look the other direction is no picnic either. The view from the sheer cliffs must be breathtaking, the climb exhilarating, but one loose rock, one lapse in concentration may mean no second chance...the only progress is up, higher and higher. Fat lot of good a kayak paddle would do me up there.


    So I look at my hands; is this what they were meant to do? Who AM I anyway? There are times when I'm not sure as my heart pulls me toward the cliffs and my curious mind toward the shore. Am I in the river because it has direction, and that's what I want? Or do I lack direction and wind up in the river because that's what I need?


    Also; I shave this face every morning, but rarely see it after that. Within is very different than without. Does the crowd of hoods outside the convenience store part because I'm intimidating, or harmless? Am I driven by a work ethic, or fear of disappointment? Trusting, or gullible?


    I suppose Homer's tagline says it best:


    "Too much thinking. Make it stop."


    I'm with ya on that one pahd-na. I feel like a seasonal visitor in my own skin right now...just here until the weather warms up someplace else. Just passing through and noticing things in a different light, an external light, and perhaps a harsh light. This society we live in, these roads we build around a large sphere, winding around hazards and obstacles and following rail lines and property boundaries, the walls we erect to keep things out that also trap things in, the filters we put on A/C units, engines, mouths, minds, and speech. Is it all just a desperate thrashing of consciousness trying to quantify and explain something that never needed explanation in the first place? Or is it a mechanism for defining and channeling what we are and where we are going so that our own heuristics won't drive us mad?


    Hmmm, perhaps some dreaming will clue me in...or at least pull me back a bit. It's not a bad or unpleasant feeling so much as a troubling one...so hopefully any dreams won't be nightmares. But no promises, right?


    G'night campers.

  • So, you wanna lesson in free association but don't know were to start? Go interactive and see what others are searching on...


    Where else can you see 'green discharge' on the same screen as 'asian babes' and not be in danger of getting a popup on your screen for testicular enlargement or stay-at-home letter stuffing offerings to earn you millions?



    Metaspy Unfiltered


    DON'T say you saw it here first...just keep it to yourself and try not to laugh too loudly if still at work.

  • Well, the deed is done..



    and I'm firing up the Playstation, dammit! Or better yet, Dungeon Siege...feel my wrath!

  • Directory Services Infrastructure...I did pathetically! 736/1000. Still passing, but I'm kind of fuming at myself. Off to study, more later.

  • Well, Active Directory is now in the bag, that makes 4 with 3 to go. Next is case studies with Active Directory Design and Implementation. And then, network security (an oxymoron of increasing size and depth when related to Microsoft products as of late). I'm getting a bit more sleep now, but no time to let up.


    By the way, for those of you who want to know where to go for some of the best study material around:


    http://www.mcsebraindumps.com/index.php


    Well, back to it...bone-crushing hugs to all of ya! Take care.

  • Through the brush outside the cave, movement...distant, delibrate. Moving closer, the sight amoungst the dense vegitation is one they can hardly catagorize, much less believe. After a few more feet it is obvious that the creature coming toward them is a mammoth, and a badly beaten one..but for it's size it is MUCH too short.


    Grunting can now be heard, as the huge animal plods closer, stumbles, mutters to itself, and finally falls dead outside the cave. ID stands and grunts with approval at the badly beaten animal as he drops it ouside the entrance. Sticks are in its eyes, arrows and spears stick from its now-bloody hairy hide like a pin cushion, and one tusk has been broken off halfway and looks to have been used to stab it in the neck...several times.


    The others in the cave nod approvingly as ID walks past, drops a rock and a mailbox still nailed to it's post he was using as a weapon outside the door and collapses almost on top of the fire. He is snoring in seconds...


    SuperEgo "He up till 5:23 this morning, him do that with less than 3 hours sleep."


    InnerChild: "Can we eat it?"


    SE:"Don't think so. Wasn't very pretty kill either...not one of Id's best"


    IC: "It dead though, right?"


    A deep voice utters from the cave just after the snoring stops:


    ID: "As dead as you will be if you not shut up!"


    They all look at each other and nod...it's been a good day. As they gather around to figure out what to do with the kill, one of them looks closer at the creature..


    IC: "What Networking Infrastructure, mean?" he whispers.


    SE: "Me not sure, I not Shell Answer man..."


    ----------------------------------------------------------------


    Well I passed the test, (still no score, just graded as a pass/fail by MS) got home and passed out. I was up until 5:23 that morning when I started getting the answers I knew from the practice test wrong...so I took a chance, set two alarms, and got some shut-eye. But that one is ready for the butcher. But, no rest for the weary, I have 4 tests to take in 4 days, so time for more study, the Managing Active Directory exam is tomorrow.

  • It's 2am...I'm still studying, and I'm wishing genital warts and a raging bladder infection on Bill Gates...no, scratch that.  I want him sealed in a 30ft metal tank connected to an electric paint mixer filled with 300 lbs. of cherry-red charcoal briquettes, hungry roaches, rusty tacks, angry bees, and Rush Limbaugh. And *I* get to set it on 'Frape'.

  • Well, Network Infrastructure is in the am, and my brain is smouldering right now; partly because Microsoft has to rename everything Unix related just so it can be referred to in 'MS' terms. And the other part of it is that my give a shit meter is way past E tonight. I suppose if I could just study to pass it would be easier on me, but my work ethic tends to get in the way of that because I really want to know this stuff. There is one thing you must always remember when taking a MicroSoft certification test.

    Rule #1:
    The problem is your hardware.
    Rule #2:
    If the hardware is good, it must be a user setting.
    Rule #3
    If it's a user setting, have your credit card handy. If it's not, see Rule #1.

    Night all!

  • Well, it's time for my nap, apparently. Night all!


    13

    I act like I'm 13.
    This test was brought to you by Mel - mostly.... Take it here.