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  • Well the server test was just pass/fail, but I passed. Out of 1000 points (if it had been scored that way) this one felt like about an 860. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have 6 reactions during a test that has mulitple choice answers in it:



    1. The answer's this one...next victim.

    2. I saw this in the study material.

    3. This is the only one that makes sense...must be it.

    4. Well the other two answers are bullshit, so it's one of these two...

    5. Hmmm, I'll have to come back to this one. If I'm lucky, the other questions might clue me in.

    6. What the....!!! Glue-sniffing bastards! What does THAT have to do with networking?!

    So, exam two is in the bag and it's pucker time...Networking Infrastructure. Ack!


    "It's in the hole! It's in the hole..." -Bill, Caddyshack, nuff said.

  • HA! 940 out of 1000...[Zane does victory dance with a clearly humiliated cat on each shoulder]


    Ph33r ^^y 3l33t S/<1/_/_z!!!!


    Well, to be honest, this is the first test out of 7 and can really only gauge my ability to answer written interrogation in Micro$oftese. Server and Network Infrastructure are next and will take me through to Monday. The N.I. exam is the one that will make you question all you really know about networking no matter how long you've been trying to convince your boss he doesn't need a dual Xeon hooked to a 500 gig raid array to answer his mail, and make your gibblies head north for the winter...even in June. (purely in a metaphorically paniced sense of course...I hope)


    Come to think of it, in celebration of this event; if I pass I'm seriously thinking of getting ink done. (and no, I'm not getting a thirteen) The words 'Don't Panic!' in bold friendly letters on my right arm. I was going to do this in commemoration when D.N.A. became a footnote in the Guide, but now I'll have a combo reason. Well that and to convice myself that I was never just all talk about it .


    "Well Bob, I'm off to crash the server. Wish me luck!"  -my fave CDW radio commerical

  • For those of you wondering what yer ole Uncle Zane is up to, it's called MCSE Bootcamp and it's the IT precursor to selling pencils in the airport. Microsoft tests are almost as infuriatingly vague as a crack dealer explaining his income to an IRS agent.


    Dante could have replaced several levels with corresponding floors of a certain building in Redmond. Imagine a company giving you a test on something they are desperately trying to convince everyone doesn't suck.


    Wish me luck, time for my study treatment. They should sell a dribble bib with this documentation...ya'll be good.


    "Knowing the cheeta's preference for red meat, the spamalopes remained relaxed, but cautious." -Gary Larson

  • One Small Universe ³


     


    The last building block clattered into its appointed place as Zinc closed the toy box; his father was on his way. He could tell because the house’s weight seemed to shift a bit when people moved in it, particularly on the stairs. Oh no! The stairs…toy cars…DAD!


     


    He was looking down at the desk clock still in his hand when the realization hit him that his chin was rushing at the hardwood stairs at a fair rate of speed. Without thinking, he reached for the banister, which promptly snapped out of reach as he reversed direction with a sudden jolt, sending the clock one way and him the other. He was watching himself as in a taped image on fast reverse, but moving AWAY from the stairwell altogether. At a point where his head was now pointing toward the floor, about 15 feet away now, he felt his chest constrict and everything in the room stopped. Looking up, he saw half a dozen Hot Wheels on the stairs, the clock floating in midair, and a slight sigh from somewhere behind his head.


     


    “Sorry Dad. I was cleaning up, I really was, I just forgot about…those.”


     


    “Looks different when the coyote does it…I think it’s the umbrella.”


     


    Whew! Zinc tried not to laugh…it was very hard. “Yea, but his invention Kung Fu is weak!”


     


    “Was that an attempt at temporal reversal?”


     


    “Just then?”


     


    …his son knew what he meant. He was stalling. No need to answer insulting questions…silence.


     


    Oops! Just once he’d like to get away with some misdirection…just once. He never practiced parlor magic on his father. No fun…at all. “Kinetic, actually…that isn’t the same thing, is it?”


     


    He’d had to make it clear that mussing about with time dilation or temporal eventing held the inherent risk of destroying…everything. He wasn’t sure his son’s powers extended into that ability, but no point risking it. “No, it’s not. But I feel like I swallowed an electric eel; how about setting me down, it’s getting hard to breath.”


     


    As Dr. Ryan spun slowly upright, he plucked the clock from the air on his way down like a peach from a tree, then he noticed there were no more toys on the stairs, but the sound of plastic skidding on wood came from the direction of Zinc’s room.


     


    “How long have you been practicing multiple targets?”


     


    “I’m not. They’re just all grouped into the same task. Like time-chopping for…”


     


    “…time slicing.”


     


    “..yea, time slicing for computer processors. If I do it fast enough, it looks the same.”


     


    Sitting on the third step, facing away from his son to hide the obviously proud grin on his face..


     


    “You haven’t been this agreeable to cleaning up or this apologetic for nearly fracturing your dear old dad’s neck since I found that squirrel in the laundry hamper. So tell me…” pregnant pause, just for impact “…is it your grades, your exercises, or another hurt animal that is hopefully not hidden in an underwear drawer that even closely resembles mine?”


     


    “I uh…well, you might be getting a call from the school because of something that happened in school today. AFTER school actually, but at the school.”


     


    Shooting a glance over his shoulder, then stifling the urge to react immediately, “Was, how can I put this; anyone hurt?”


     


    “That depends on if a..well if a car counts as ‘anyone’.” Zinc began to wince and closed his eyes, afraid to elaborate.

  • One Small Universe <part II>


     


    The steady sound of the desk clock began to annoy Zinc’s father..


     


    “You can’t be serious! You’ve read my report, the results are obvious!” it HAD to be him sweating, because he noticed dampness on the back of his hand as the phone almost slipped out of his palm as he just stopped himself from hurling it into the fireplace…well that, and he hadn’t paid enough for this phone to get one with a ‘sweating feature’, he was sure of that.


     


    “Arnie listen to me. I’m going to be frank with you on this because we were roommates, and because you were the only reason I passed Dr. Youngblood’s theoretical physics class. They think you’ve lost it, big A. Using the experimental drugs on your son was one thing, but the rituals for God’s sake, what were you thinking?”


     


    A sound…a quiet one, began just between his ears, toward the back of his head. That same one he used to get when he was a kid…a soft, prickly, static-electricity-trapped-in-a-feather-pillow sound…just before he got his allergy shot. He had to get those shots for two years. His mom had tried to make it fun by making a calendar with a different type of coin for his collection taped to each Friday in a small envelope…where WAS that collection? “You know dam…you KNOW the human race has a history of science and technology proving the tenets of faith, religion, and myth. I thought you understood that, Richard! And don’t go talking about ‘drugs’ as if I was giving Zinc Haldol or Thalidimide…it was a synthetic form of his own serotonin, not some designer drug made from nasal inhalers and brake fluid…..”


     


    “Exactly. And using a synthetic process that YOU invented, and that YOU have not gotten approved, blind tested, or even certified for fire safety by Underwriter’s Labs! You can insist on doing things your way Ryan…but don’t start getting indignant when people begin thumbing their noses at you when you ask them for money.”


     


    The sound in Dr. Arnold Ryan’s head began to give off heat…the long pause on the other end of the phone meant he was supposed to say something, but his earlobes were starting throb and he literally had nothing else to say; except to perhaps remind his old friend that he still had pictures of…


     


    <sigh> “Look, most of what they had objections about was rumor anyhow, I’ll try to see what they’re really worried about. In the meantime, would you PLEASE get that FDA paperwork completed? We’ll call it a show of faith…you know about faith right?”


     


    “Don’t start patronizing me! You know this is important, no matter HOW I got here, you know what this means. I…..can’t…..I can’t let it all be for nothing.” He looked down at his hand and he was holding the desk clock against his chest, like a rosary; he examined the face….”I’ve got to go, it’s Zinc’s bedtime.”


     


    “Right. Muss his hair up for me will ya?”


     


    “I need you on this one Richard.”


     


    “I know. I’ll call you on Thursday; I should know something by then.”


     


    “Ok. Love to Meagan and Josh”


     


    G-night Dr. Frankenstein.” <click>

  • One Small Universe


     


    As Zinc put away his Legos, he couldn’t help but think how cool they were. Not as messy as clay or Playdoh, you could clean them up with Tonka bulldozer cuz they didn’t get stuck in the carpet…


     


    Would you like to make some really interesting things with them? I can show you.


     


    …and you could mix the colors and not have to worry about everything ending up that boring shade of gray all the time. Plus, granny had given him some really neat ones that came with instructions. He didn’t think he’d like to be told how to play with them, that seemed a little silly; but it was a challenge he found he rather enjoyed. It reminded him of a jigsaw puzzle really, but you could play with it afterward. How many jigsaw puzzles can you say THAT about…


     


    Puzzles. Ah yes. The world IS a puzzle young human…how many pieces do you think make up its edge? Define its boarders? Are there good pieces? Bad pieces? Forbidden…pieces? I wonder what those would look like.


     


    Dad would be here in a moment to go over his exercises; the phone…he remembered the phone ringing earlier. He hoped that wasn’t his Ms. Blanchard…she was his favorite teacher, she always listened to him…


     


    I know why she’s your favorite, and so do you. You just won’t admit it to yourself little one. The way she still moves a little when she stops moving just inside her blouse…I know what you’re thi….arrrgh!


     


    The voice in his head, the one he couldn’t get away from, the one that was there every waking moment of his life. Zinc had focused his will into an interlocking zipper of  razors, cutting the voice short mid-sentence and strangling it into silence like the wringing of a wet dishrag caught in the prop of an outboard motor. But those last words hung in his mind like a neon thought suspended from an invisible airship. A lonely echo in a large, empty room. “I know what you’re thinking.” He hated that that was true; it was. But that didn’t stop it from accusing him of thoughts that weren’t his. Ms. Blanchard was the closest thing he’d ever had to a friend in his life; and though his method of dealing with Jak would make him very angry later, he’d learned not to even THINK things apologetic when it came to him. He wasn’t going to allow him to say things like that, ever. He called him Jak. Zinc really didn’t know if Jak was a ‘him’ or an ‘it’…he thought of  the ageless entity as a caged animal. A pet he couldn’t get rid of, because…a silent laugh…who would want to adopt THAT?


     


    Jak would never admit it, but this was far closer to the truth than even Zinc realized, and that made him very…very angry.

  • I often wonder about people and how they look at, and feel about, others.

    The friends we make tend to say much about us; and in some cases, perhaps something we don’t like.

    I have, in my life, met a few people I considered my friends who, thinking back, really weren’t. What puzzled me about them, and eventually led me to the realization that they were not good for me, was that people were like holograms to them. Just things. No relationship was ever dropped, no tie severed for any reason, because they always felt as if it could be ‘useful’ later on...for something. Freinds were...collected.

    I’ve only recently quantified this into what you read now because I’ve had a chance to contemplate my own life in the past few weeks and have tried to put a finger on some of the regret I feel in hindsight with a few of my more recent run-ins with people of this sort.

    I can only hope that others, seeing this, (or perhaps meeting the people I have known and trusted) will not think badly of me, or consider me weak; but realize that perhaps my hope to find something true and healthy in them was just a misplaced, Quixotian optimism that I am, and will always be, afflicted with.

    A certain amount of naïve is inevitable when giving benefit of doubt. If only for a short while.

    The friends we make say much about us, the ones we keep tell us just as much, about them.

  • Got three different kinds of coffee in the mail yesterday from Coffee AM (see reviews for link):


    Kenya AA, Kona, and Jamaican Blue Mountain...life is good! And I'm vibrating so rapidly now that my glasses clean themselves. How cool is that?!

  • I just ran across this...


    At The Garden Gate - David McCord


    Who so late


    at the garden gate?


    Emily, Kate,


    and John.


    “John,


    where have you been?


    It’s after six;


    Supper is on,


    And you’ve been gone


    An hour,


    John!"


    “We’ve been, we’ve been,


    We’ve just been over


    The field,” said,


    John.


    (Emily, Kate,


    and John.)


    Who so late


    at the garden gate?


    Emily, Kate


    and John


    “John,


    what have you got?”


    “A whopping toad


    Isn’t he big?


    He’s a terrible


    Load.


    (We found him


    A little ways


    Up the road,”


    said Emily,


    Kate,


    and John.)


    Who so late


    at the garden gate?


    Emily, Kate,


    and John.


    “John,


    put that thing down!


    Do you want to get warts?”


    (They all three have ‘em


    By last


    Reports.)


    Still, finding toads


    Is the best of


    Sports,


    Say Emily,


    Kate,


    and John.


    The first poem I ever learned, and just happened to run across before heading to bed, night all.

  • Shaq Paq...Ack!


    Has anyone seen this Burger King™ commercial with Shaq™ wearing this leather coat that's the size of unstuffed furniture covering and jamming the ball on some unsuspecting kiddies who probably just want to play some lot ball without being picked on by Andre the Hormonally Imbalanced? All with this butchered version of the Shaft™ theme playing in the background that HAS to make Richard Roundtree not only instantly airsick, but want to hook up with Lawrence Fishbourne and go kick Shaq's™ sorry ass. I don't care if he DID act with him in that _Steel_ movie. What's up with that? Why not having him trying to slam down on the Lipton™ animated characters, a trio of blindfolded 3 year olds, a three legged dog named Tripod? Wanna impress me, put Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and Chuck Norris in between him and the basket...yea baby! (Hmm, very strange...I just noticed how many threes just cropped up in that paragraph) The sound of his chin hitting the pavement would set off Richter measurements in Ixtapa.


    I mean, he's eating a hamburger that I assume is full size, but looks like it's a White Castle™ or a plastic toy out of the Collector's Edition of Fast Food Frolick Barbie Activity Set™ in those Tex Avery/bitten by a radioactive habitual masturbator hands of his. Then, to top it all off, it comes with, of all things, this thimble of cheese dip...chedder flavor specifically (as if they would have had Roquefort or Fetta).  What the? Why cheese, why not...I dunno, a specially colored ketchup labeled 'Shaq Sweat'™, a mini, electric salt injector, a spray bottle of fresh grease, or a small plastic hoop with a glow-in-the-dark net that clips to your nostrils so you can really *dunk* your fries. Slammin! ugh.


    I'm so disgusted by this 'heavy rotation' sports whoring, I'm going to stop now before I begin to come across as far more bitter and cynical than I really am.


    Oh yea, and a big kiss and hug to all you mothers out there! Happy Mother's Day™, even if it IS a corporate manufactured holiday created by greeting card lobbyists...you deserve more than just one day, but since we could never really pay you back anyhow, accept this wish that, starting today, you never have to remind the men in your life to also put a liner back in the cans after so thoughtfully taking out the garbage