July 18, 2002
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Another half mouldy loaf of bread and half a bunch of nanners that look like black, floppy…well nevermind what they look like I sure as hell ain’t eatin’ em. From the sharp cheddar cheese that now looks like a lightly frosted yellow brick(Na-biii-sco…<ding!>), to the onion that now has a heart as dark and mushy as Bill Gates on the day Windows XP went Gold, it’s the stale food that’s depressing.
It’s one of the things that makes being single a real bummer. One pack of hamburger helper is like what…4 meals? I mean, I love cheeseburger HH as much as the next guy, better than beef jerky, cold PaPa John’s Pizza and a room temperature Guinness…but after the second day of it even Tabasco Green can’t fix it up, ya know? Microwaved or not. The fact that my other two meals out of the day are Slim Fast and multi-vitamins doesn’t help much.
I hate cooking for just myself, and in this SuperSized, Xtra, Jumbo, 15% Free world we live in…buying single portions of anything is as expensive as it is depressing. Ugh, there’s that word again.
On a lighter note, even Intel is feeling the tech crunch in stocks this week…bout damn time, I’ve been taking an alcohol bath in them for months. My 401k is less ‘stocks and bonds’ and more ‘raped and freezing’; so much so it’s hard to let go because an upturn would turn out REALLY nice. Now I see how they catch those monkeys by putting the apple in the jar <insert Tim Allen ape grunt here>…
Well folks, I’m off to bed. It’s an early day tomorrow of newly appointed Windows remote installation guru Dr. Zane T. Dark on yet another mission to try to prove certain corporate IT snobs are almost always wrong; but only because they’re usually too lazy to read instructions. Yea I know, I don’t read them either…but when I break something, I also don’t WHINE about out it either.
Ah, I feel better, night-ol
Comments (5)
I feel yer pain man…I still have bread and stuff go bad even though there are two of us. Here’s what ya do. You find a few good recipes for stews and stuff that you like. Make a vat full, eat yer one helping, freeze the rest. Like you really have time for all that cooking, right?
Grocery store lady always chides me for not buying two jugs of milk when they’re buy one get one free. We’d have so much sour milk if I bought two bottles of milk in one trip!! Yeesh.
Zane, there’s this miraculous new invention. It’s called the ‘air-tight container.’ They were expensive to buy at first, but the price is coming down rapidly as more people follow the early adopters…
Eye Feel Yer Pain, man. I just bought two packages of frozen pizza and single-serving containers of yogurt. Two great tastes that taste great together.
buy. a. freezer.
HA! I just used to work places where they fed me.
buy. frozen. dinners.
You usually don’t even have to dirty a plate. Maybe not even a fork, if you slurp the contents right from the corner of the box.
So Homer, you’re throwing a Tupperware party when?
Marzy, I heard they are working on a chemial mixture that makes milk stay fresh for months, at room temperature. Hell, benzine stays fresh for eons at room temperature but I ain’t puttin’ in on my shredded wheat.
Doc, stjnky and all other ships at sea regarding frozen products: Have you ever just ‘smelled’ freezer burned wheat bread? Or worse yet, put an over-exposed Eggo in the toaster so the smell is shared by all? While I’ll admit frozen breakfast taquitos are the best invention since running water, I’m afraid my problems root cause is my own lack of organization and this little black hole in the middle of my brain where all the information regarding the current contents of the freezer are supposed to be kept, but usually gets replaced by my latest selection for a phonic alphabet….this month it’s the storm names of this season’s hurricanes.